#write31days, Mistaken Identity

Day 5: Lesson from a Horse Trailer

boy on a beach
4 of the 5 boys from that day at the beach

My carload of excited people didn’t even notice. Striped beach chairs, loaded ice chests, a tent canopy, a bag stuffed with towels, bottles of spray sunscreen, and five boys (our 3 plus 2 friends) were packed and jittery with anticipation for our upcoming day in the surf and sun.  Laughter and boy noises billowed up through the car in such delicious harmony.

They were unaware. So, I shared the moment alone.

I noticed. My eyes caught the horse trailer rolling down the highway behind a shiny, sparkly red pick-up truck. The trailer was banged up and dingy with mismatched paint. The rusty residue was flapping in the wind and created a landscape similiar to the rumples of a rocky beach. Dents and scrapes told of experiences that I would never know. It was used up. Old. And out-dated.

The numbers 130.67 were rudely sprawled with spray paint across the rear door.  It took me a moment. A model number? An inventory count? No. It became clear and saddened my heart: 130.67 was the dollar amount. Its value for puchase.

Although my emotional sympathies typically don’t ooze for a horse trailer, the visual representation clobbered my soul.

When my identity is NOT cemented in the truth of God’s love, I also tend to travel through my days with a self-appointed value plastered across my face. A value that I deem appropriate. A value that can be quite powerful. A value that I exist within and under. A value that blasts away at my true identity, who I really am. Can you hear it?

  • loosing my temper with my children…slash
  • unmotivated and undisciplined to exercise for 4 months straight…clink, clink
  • laundry management issues that I just can’t seem to address…chip, chip, chip
  • snapping at my husband out of my own selfishness…bang
  • forgetting to pick up carpool…ding, ding

Calculations which add up to all that I am not or haven’t done or didn’t do well. Calculations that I affix to who I am. My identity- a mistaken identity. I wonder if you do that too.

But what if we begin to choose the truth and live in that space?

  • I am LOVED, lavishly. His love for me is like a blizzardy snowfall that never ends (1 John 3:1).
  • I am FORGIVEN. Nothing that I have done or ever will do can eliminate me from His love. So if He forgives me, I can forgive myself (Ephesians 1:7).
  • I am HIS. I don’t have to validate my existence by what I do or prove my worth by what I can check off my to-do list (Isaiah 43:1).
  • I am FREE. My past doesn’t hold the blueprint for my future (Galatians 5:1). The terrain of possibility ahead is expansive.

Take a moment. Utter those words. Say them outloud over and over until you grab hold of them as truth. The truth. Your identity which is cemented in the solid stability of God’s powerful love.

Let’s bury our toes in the sand, bask in the warmth of the sun, and settle in the power of who we truly are.

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7 thoughts on “Day 5: Lesson from a Horse Trailer

  1. Oh Amy, how this pricks at my heart…Thank you for your words truth. How my soul and heart hurts over and over as I constantly undo and push away all the forgiveness and grace God freely gives me!
    **sidenote – I thought my Oliver was the only person on earth who knew and/or used the word “rumply” or “rumples”. I looked it up because I wasn’t even sure if it was a real word! He mostly uses it to describe the creases in my forehead when I have I have them scrunched up giving him my ‘Mommy-look”. “Mom why is your face so rumply?” Ha! Love that you use it too – “rumples of a rocky beach.”

    1. Rumples gives such a descriptive word picture, doesn’t it Oliver? But christy, I gotta know…is it a real word? I tend to make a few up here and there. But a rumpley forehead-eek. Ha! I don’t think so! Love the creativity of ur boys.

      1. It IS a real word! Funny how you and Oliver both made it up but it really does exist! Remind me to show you my “rumply” forehead-face one day, hehe!

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