Faith, Personal Growth

Day 29: Sobbing Tears of an Unfair Life

baby on the beach

Mistaken Identity #9: By the painful actions of others, I am what I am.

The humidity clung to her face like the sand to her toes. Hagar’s mouth was dry and her heart was parched. Tears tracked down her check, clearing the dirt as it rolled towards her chin. The unfairness of her life was almost suffocating. And she sobbed. The ugly cry. Right there in the hot, sandy desert (Genesis 21:14-16).

She thought:

It wasn’t my fault that I was cast out from my home. It was that jealous Sarah. She made me marry her husband Abraham in the first place! She was barren and she used me to have an heir.  Although I may have gotten a little snitty, I had a right to. Now, my son and I are going to die out here in the desert. It’s not my fault! This isn’t fair!

Does this ring a familiar chord in your heart? When you land in a difficult situation because of someone else’s decision?

  • Has your spouses’ selfish choice left you with raising your children on your own?
  • Has your boss’ unethical practices at work caused the company to fold and you lose your job?
  • Has your parent’s alcoholism and emotional manipulation caused you to feel emotionally damaged and deficient?
  • Has someone unspeakable choice left you abused and broken?
  • Has a drunken driver taken a precious one from your life?

Hagar was a victim to someone else’s actions. You may be too. It’s easy to let our history become our identity. But taking it on as who you are is like taking a mouthful of sand- only hurting you.

beach baby

Because I was abused, I am forever broken.

Because I was abandoned, I am unwanted.

Because I was emotionally manipulated, I am deficient.

Because I was used and discarded, I am worthless.

And it’s not fair. You may sob, the ugly cry. I’ll sob with you.

But your past does not tell you who you are.  You are not the broken pieces of someone else’s stupid and horrible choice.  I am so sorry for the painful happenings of your past. I ache and cry with you. But, please, do not sell the rest of your life away.

beach boyJust as God’s love breaks through Hagar’s desperate desert situation, He does for you too.

  • God sees you (Genesis 16:13-14). He says to you, “I see where you are. I see the ugly cry. You are not forgotten. I love you.”
  • God hears you (Genesis 21:17). He says to you, “I hear your cries, your sobs. I know the ache of your heart. And I understand your painful situation. You are not alone. I love you.”
  • God gives you hope (Genesis 21:18). He says to you, “Look up. Breathe in fresh air. I have a great plan for you.  You have hope. I love you.”
  • God provides for you (Genesis 21:19-20). He says to you, “I will water your thirsty heart in unexpected ways. I will be with you. I love you.”

What would it take for you to move beyond the sobbing tears of the unfairness of your life?

By the grace of God, I am what I am.


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This post is a part of a 31 day series. Find other 31 Dayers at The Nester’s.