Marriage, Singleness

Day 3: How To Find The Love Of Your Life

how to find the love of your life
Photo credit: Laney69 via Compfight, Design: Amy Ruth

It is oh-so-easy to dream and fantasize about what life could be with the person you are dating or have a crush on or would hope to date.

Writing his last name after your first.

Envisioning what your children would look like.

Drawing out what your monogram would be together.

Planning your wedding, bridesmaids, and honeymoon.

I did it, too. So many times. The excitement about even the possibility was the open door that created these visions of grandeur. And, they led me down a rocky, unrealistic, pushing-it-faster-than-it-really-is road.

Now, we come to the third truth point in our 5 day mini-series “How to Find the Love of your Life.”

1. Stop looking.

2. Gather information.

And, today:

how to find the love of your life

re·al·i·ty noun \rē-ˈa-lə-tē\

the true situation that exists : the real situation

Although it’s fun and fills hours of girl-talk with your friends, when we dream and fantasize about what a relationship could be and what we hope it to become, we build up a false sense of reality.  Then, we operate within that false reality, fast-forwarding beyond what exists in the true situation. We build a house for our emotions to reside in that often sets us up for a broken heart.

If you are not his girlfriend, don’t act like it.

If you are not his wife with a ring on your finger, don’t act like it.

Protection comes when you stay within the reality of this day. When you are able to enjoy at a healthy pace the opportunity to get to know someone else and grow as a person without a driving necessity to validate your worthiness and without a clingy-ness to grab your dream for marriage. This day.

God’s Word says…

Matthew 6:33-34
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So, here are a few ways to stay within the reality of this day:

1. Limit day-dreaming and fantasizing to a minimum.  When your heart and thoughts begin to float into the potential future, pinch yourself and say “Stay within this day. I’m gathering information.” Write the above verse (Matthew 6:33-34) on a note card and read it when you find yourself going down that dreamy road.

2.  Be wise in who and how many friends you talk and play out scenarios to. It just creates an unrealistic, “white-picket fence” dream that may or may not happen. I had one girlfriend who I trusted and who I knew understood this staying in reality gig who I would unload my emotions to.  Be wise in who you share with and what you share. Guard yourself from talking about it too much.

3. Enjoy the slow, dating process. Enjoy being single. Seriously, take a deep breath. Quit pushing the fast-forward button. Stay within reality. This day. This phone call. This date.

Gathering information.

Talking with God.

Pursuing your God-glorifying purpose.

5 square

See you TOMORROW for Day Four!

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