Marriage, Singleness

Day 4: How To Find The Love Of Your Life

guard your heart, proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 4:23

I agree. I need to guard my heart. I want to. I really do. And, I’m sure, you do too.

Of course, none of us step in line to get a broken heart. None of us intend to begin a relationship and hope that it ends in heartbreak.  But, often it does. And, it hurts.

Love is definitely a risk.  But, a risk that is worth taking when you are wise in revealing your heart bit by bit, guarding it with intentional decisions.  Opening yourself up to be loved completely is a beautiful gift.

How do you find the love of your life:

1. Stop looking.

2. Gather information.

3. Stay in reality.

and today…

how to find the love of your lifeI have discovered a few things that stood watch like a guard around my heart when dating. These may seem old-fashioned and sound counter-culture, counter-“Bachelor” worthy, and counter-your favorite sit-com.  But, so is God and He cares and knows what it takes to protect that heart of your’s better than you do.

proverbs 4:23

1. Let the boy set the pace.  If you want your man to lead in your future marriage, give him the opportunity to lead while you are dating. Let him do the asking out. If he hasn’t asked you out yet, he doesn’t want to. Ouch! You’ve got to give him opportunity to want to spend time with you and allow Him space to do whatever it takes to connect with you.

2. Don’t say “I love you” first. I know this one may cause you to suck air. But, seriously. Beware of putting your heart out there first, flapping in the wind waiting for a response. If he hasn’t said it, he doesn’t. Or, if he hasn’t said it and he really loves you deep down inside, oh boy. Red flag on his inability to communicate his feelings.

3. Reveal yourself slowly. Be a bit of a mystery. He doesn’t need to know everything about you in the first few dates! Especially, those parts that promote emotional intimacy- like your past. Protect yourself by not talking about those things too quickly. If he asks questions that go further than what you are ready to share about yourself, you have the complete freedom to graciously say, “I don’t feel comfortable in sharing that right now.”  You can gather a bunch of information about him based on how he responds to that one!

4. Don’t have sex before you are married.   I can only imagine what you are thinking. The eye rolls. The “how old are you anyway?”  But, girls. Really. Having sex before being married is one of the number one things that destroys any safe protection over your heart. It is the most intimate of offerings. One that is protected and secure within a loving marriage. If he pushes on this issue, you have just gathered a piece of valuable information about him.

Guarding your heart positions you to find the love of your life, because it exposes authentic facts not clouded by guilt or premature intimacy or over-stepped efforts or emotions.

Your heart is precious and valuable. Everything you do flows from it. But, it is also deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and cannot be trusted with decision-making. Please don’t “follow your heart!” Guard it wisely!

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See you TOMORROW for Day 5!

1 thought on “Day 4: How To Find The Love Of Your Life

  1. Every woman should read this! Often I get so bummed because God hasn’t bought “him ” along and i fail to see the provision and protection that he offers in my state of singleness such as giving wisdom on how to guard my heart. The last thing I want it is to experience again the heartache that is so common on shows like the bachelor where the girl gives away too much too soon. And really, though I might not have what I want, God is faithful in protecting the most delicate of me – my heart

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