Marriage, Singleness

Day 5: How To Find The Love Of Your Life

cat and dog hugWhite knuckles. Refusing to let go. Holding tightly and clinging for dear life. Even when the relationship was no longer right, best, or even healthy, I held my dream of marriage tighter than the actual reality of the relationship. I was holding on so tightly that I forgot what I was holding to in the first place.

A flood of questions pelted my heart:

But if I let go, what will I have?

If I let go, all the time invested will be wasted.

If I let go, I will have to start over.

If I let go, I will be alone– maybe forever.

If I let go, who will I be?

So, I closed my eyes shutting out the red flags and legitimate concerns and squeezed.

Have you been there like me?

Finding the love of your life involves intentional decisions (even hard, painful ones) that positions you in a place for a healthy relationship.

1. Stop looking.

2. Gather information.

3. Stay in reality.

4. Guard your heart.

Lastly, we land on:

how to find the love of your life

Keep a loose hold. If you hold too tightly, you are too close to see things in healthy perspective.

Keep a loose hold. If you hold too tightly, it gives no room for you each to grow, evaluating along the way if you really are a good fit for each other.

Keep a loose hold. If you hold too tightly, you become more focused on your grip than on what you are holding.

Keep a loose hold. If you hold too tightly, you may grow more needy and high maintenance because you don’t want to let go.

It is so hard. Especially as time progresses and the relationship continues to develop. I know. But, I finally learned to do something daily that kept me holding loosely.

Every morning, I would talk to God and say something like this…

love life prayerI was then open to hear and follow God’s purpose for my life, whether it involved getting married or not!

Making wise decisions as I gathered information.

Staying in reality as I resisted the natural urge to fantasize and daydream.

Guarding my heart by protecting those things most intimate.

And, keeping a loose hold by letting it go into the hands of my loving Father.

And, with 15 years of marriage in our history, I share my days with the love of my life.  I am so grateful.

true love

I pray you too will follow God’s purpose and plan for your life, dear friend. It will blow you away!

See you February 24-28 for our next 5 Ways in 5 Days!

5 ways in 5 days

On Tuesday February 4, we dive into our ugly attitudes and learn how to unstick them!

Ugly Attitudes Bible Study

every Tuesday and Thursday…

4 thoughts on “Day 5: How To Find The Love Of Your Life

  1. This is all very beautiful and life saving advice. I’ve started this journey this year and I’ve had 2 pretty devastating heartbreaks b/c I’m such a giver, but I realized that I was giving to the wrong things. As I am rounding up on the golden age of 30 sometimes it does seem like “The One” is not out there, but in the midst of it all, I am learning to not hold on too tightly and NOT think that every new person is the one. Dating is very hard in this day and age, but at the lovely age of 28 I am learning to finally LIVE. THANK YOU FOR THIS BLOG!! IT’S EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO READ

    1. Sharee, you are so right! It is life saving…God’s truth saved my life! I’m so sorry about your heartbreaks. ugh. it hurts so badly. But I’m so thankful that God doesn’t waste our pain. He uses it to grow and shape us! And He is with you, I’m sure. Can I just tell you? God’s got a great plan for you! Just follow up close to Him and you will live the adventure of a lifetime. A book I highly recommend of real life examples of living by these dating principles is Quest For Love by Elisabeth Elliot. It is so encouraging. God’s bless you sweet girl on your journey!

  2. God always provides me what I need at the exact time I need to hear it! Today he spoke through you and your lovely blog! Thank you for being such an inspiring woman and sharing your life and lessons with so many…You are a sweetheart!

    1. Yay, Amy! I just LOVE how God is so intimate and perfect in His timing! Thank you for sharing how He has spoken to you. His truth is my life’s hold. Grace and peace to you!

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