Parenting, Relationships

Day 3: How to Offload the MoM GUiLT

parenting commitments
Two liberating admissions to OFFload

I am not a farmer, but my grandfather was.  He grew wheat in Hobart, Oklahoma.

Cosechando trigo / Harvesting wheat 002 

Never in his wildest dreams would he expect his crops to grow overnight or the next week or the next month. No. Farmers have a healthy expectation (throw back from yesterday’s post) that growing takes time.

The little people God has entrusted to us are growing in every way. And, it takes time and hard work and patience and trust and dependence on Jesus.  Here’s the thing:

patient imperfectionSoak in that for a bit.

So far this week…how to OFFload the MoM GUiLT:

1. Remember, It Won’t Always Be Like This (Monday)

2. Hold Healthy Expectations (Tuesday)

And today…

mom guilt

The MoM GUiLT weighs on my heart when I become impatient with my children’s development.  When I think they should be getting it quicker than they are. Or they shouldn’t be acting up or messing with their brother if I were really a good mom. 

Then, doubt settles in. Doubt if I am really doing the right things. Doubt if it’s worth it when I get so tired and exhausted that I just want to close the door and huddle in the corner.

God has many encouragements for the

tired,

impatient,

worn-out,

doubting,

exhausted mom,

some non-guilty truths in His Word to anchor us when we only want to throw in the towel and go to a movie alone.

Here are two truthsone for each hand– when the MoM GUiLT feels heavy, and you need to be reminded that growing children takes time:

1. I CAN’T do this on my own.

Jesus says:
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“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit;

apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

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There is something so liberating about that admission.

In the moments of frustration, utter “Sweet Jesus.”

In the moments of desperation, breathe and call out, “Lord, help me!”  

Bearing fruit takes time and I need help. Trouble comes when I think I can do it on my own but then realize I can’t and then feel guilty that I’m notHow crazy is that? Major cray-cray!

Every morning, right off the bat, before your feet touch the floor:

God, I need you this day.

I can’t do dirty diapers, potty training, pre-puberty emotional splatter, homework questions, cooking dinner, sibling fighting, temper tantrums on my own.

HELP ME be all that I need to be to bring You glory this day.

2.  I WON’T give up.

This is the time for us mammas and dads and grandparents and caregivers to R-A-L-L-Y.

“We won’t give up! We won’t give up!”

Potty training… is hard.

Navigating through the first heartbreak… is hard.

Finding balance…is hard.

The constant questions chirped from needy lil voices… are hard.

The internal struggle between what I HAVE to do and what I really WANT to do…is hard.

6th grade homework… is hard!

Doing it all as a single mom or a mom whose husband is deployed or travels a lot…is hard!

Bedtimes…are hard!

The always prioritization of tasks, activities, events…is hard.

Establishing and correcting curfews…ishard!

And, sometimes I want to hide in my bathroom, closing the door while rapid pounding ensues on the exterior (really happens).

But, doing the hard thing IS – (wait for it) – WORTH IT!

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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest

if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

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I WILL keep planting day after day, tantrum after tantrum, difficulty after difficulty. The truths and the disciplines and the character qualities that I sow in my children’s hearts WILL PRODUCE.  They will produce! 

Do we hear it? They will PRODUCE because God causes all things to grow!

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“So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything,

but only God, who makes things grow.” 1 Corinthians 3:7

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5 square

See you TOMORROW for #4!

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