Parenting, Relationships

Day 4: How to Offload the MoM GUiLT

don't like to exercise

I am in a funk.  A big, dark, yoga-pant-wearing funk. I am a 41 year-old woman, and I don’t want to exercise.  I know I should but- blah.

treadmill sits 2 feet from my bed.  I pass it every morning and every night. It’s invisible and dusty.

I think I know the problem: I have no goal. No race to run. No plan to accomplish.  I’m lazy. I’m undisciplined. I feel stupid.

My shame comes with my lack of purpose.

Maybe, I need to finally sign up for a race and have some accountability and a goal.  I hear you cheering, my running friends!

Parenting goals are equally important.

MoM GUiLT can come with a lack of purpose.

Growing a healthy adult person just doesn’t “happen.” Because of sin when left to ourselves, we will grow up selfish and short-sided and impatient, to name a few.

So, how do you OFFload the MoM GUiLT?

1. Remember, It Won’t Always Be Like This

2. Hold Healthy Expectations

3. Be Patient. Growing Takes Time


mom guilt

Goals are important.

Without a goal, I can get lazy in parenting and correcting.

Without a goal, I have nothing to shoot for.

Without a goal, I have no measurability to determine if my kids are growing in the right direction.

Without a goal, I have little intention to WHY I’m doing what I’m doing.

Without a goal, mom guilt can pile on for each of the above reasons.

Now, time for a little EXERCISE (non-cardio exercise, that is!):

1.  Close your eyes.

2.  Envision the best version of your adult child in the future with this scene:

[nbox type=warning] They has just arrived at your house for a lunch, just the two of you. You have prepared their favorite meal (from what you remember). You can’t believe your eyes! They are just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen!  What a delight they are! Your conversation falls so naturally from one thing to the next.[/nbox]

3. Think on these questions:

  • What character traits would you hope he/she would have?
  • What kind of adult do you hope they become?

THAT, my friend, is your goal.

I wanted to share with the 5 goals I jotted down for our boys:

parenting goals

Your goals may not be the same as my goals. There’s a lot of wiggle room depending on what we each hold as valuable.

But, here’s a MASSIVE QUALIFIER:  to be regarded as wise character qualities, they must be reflected in God’s truth.

So, after jotting down my goals above, I went back into God’s truth and connected verses to each. Then, I had a blast of a time in creating this:

biblical parenting goals

I am reading this FABulous parenting book (my new favorite):

boundaries with kidsThere is a list and descriptions in Chapter 2 of eight important character qualities to consider for a healthy functioning adult: loving, responsible, free, initiating, respectful of reality, growing, oriented to the truth, oriented to transcendence. So, so good.  If your brain needs a jumpstart, maybe reading this book will help.

Establish your parenting goals. Write it on a canvas, print it on a 8 1/2  x 11, talk about it with your children, display it in your home on your cute pinterest-y chalkboard.









TOWARDS that goal!

With a goal, you have a clearer vision.

With a clearer vision, you can be more intentional in parenting.

When you are more intentional in parenting, MoM GUiLT has less time to settle because you are moving towards a goal.

5 square

See you TOMORROW for #5!

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