I am in a funk. A big, dark, yoga-pant-wearing funk. I am a 41 year-old woman, and I don’t want to exercise. I know I should but- blah.
A treadmill sits 2 feet from my bed. I pass it every morning and every night. It’s invisible and dusty.
I think I know the problem: I have no goal. No race to run. No plan to accomplish. I’m lazy. I’m undisciplined. I feel stupid.
My shame comes with my lack of purpose.
Maybe, I need to finally sign up for a race and have some accountability and a goal. I hear you cheering, my running friends!
Parenting goals are equally important.
MoM GUiLT can come with a lack of purpose.
Growing a healthy adult person just doesn’t “happen.” Because of sin when left to ourselves, we will grow up selfish and short-sided and impatient, to name a few.
So, how do you OFFload the MoM GUiLT?
1. Remember, It Won’t Always Be Like This
3. Be Patient. Growing Takes Time
Goals are important.
Without a goal, I can get lazy in parenting and correcting.
Without a goal, I have nothing to shoot for.
Without a goal, I have no measurability to determine if my kids are growing in the right direction.
Without a goal, I have little intention to WHY I’m doing what I’m doing.
Without a goal, mom guilt can pile on for each of the above reasons.
Now, time for a little EXERCISE (non-cardio exercise, that is!):
1. Close your eyes.
2. Envision the best version of your adult child in the future with this scene:
[nbox type=warning] They has just arrived at your house for a lunch, just the two of you. You have prepared their favorite meal (from what you remember). You can’t believe your eyes! They are just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen! What a delight they are! Your conversation falls so naturally from one thing to the next.[/nbox]
3. Think on these questions:
- What character traits would you hope he/she would have?
- What kind of adult do you hope they become?
THAT, my friend, is your goal.
I wanted to share with the 5 goals I jotted down for our boys:
Your goals may not be the same as my goals. There’s a lot of wiggle room depending on what we each hold as valuable.
But, here’s a MASSIVE QUALIFIER: to be regarded as wise character qualities, they must be reflected in God’s truth.
So, after jotting down my goals above, I went back into God’s truth and connected verses to each. Then, I had a blast of a time in www.picmonkey.com creating this:
I am reading this FABulous parenting book (my new favorite):
There is a list and descriptions in Chapter 2 of eight important character qualities to consider for a healthy functioning adult: loving, responsible, free, initiating, respectful of reality, growing, oriented to the truth, oriented to transcendence. So, so good. If your brain needs a jumpstart, maybe reading this book will help.
Establish your parenting goals. Write it on a canvas, print it on a 8 1/2 x 11, talk about it with your children, display it in your home on your cute pinterest-y chalkboard.
TOWARDS that goal!
With a goal, you have a clearer vision.
With a clearer vision, you can be more intentional in parenting.
When you are more intentional in parenting, MoM GUiLT has less time to settle because you are moving towards a goal.
See you TOMORROW for #5!