Parenting, Relationships

Day 5: How to Offload the MoM GUiLT

cereal truth

I love cereal. My favorite right now is Crackling Oat Bran! Yummo.

I love filling up a bowl with those crunchy rectangles. Pouring the cold, white milk all over. Letting it sit for just about 20 seconds.  Then, diving the spoon into the deliciousness!

So this is weird, but, when my brain gets to thinking in the early morning, I often scrutinize and ponder TRUTH about my cereal. It fascinates me how the milk fills in all the spaces that the cereal is not.  Over, around, underneath.  The milk even reaches the teeny tiny holes within the cereal pieces themselves, allowing the milk to soak in.

Please don’t think I’m weird. But, imprinted in my heart is this spiritual connection with parenting and milk and cereal: I am the cereal. God’s grace is the milk.  He covers and fills in…

all the empty spaces that I lack or miss or overlook as a mom,

all the places where I am not and cannot be,

all the teeny tiny holes and points of sinful brokenness inside my heart.

This picture (and it’s ONLY a visual… seriously, I don’t think there is anything mystically supernatural about Cracklin Oat Bran or skim milk!) can help us OFFload the MoM GUiLT. What a delicious comfort.

Looking back on our discussion this week, OFFloading MoM GUiLT often involves:


1. Remembering, It Won’t Always Be Like This

2. Holding Healthy Expectations

3. Being Patient. Growing Takes Time

4. Establishing a Goal of Who You Want Them To Become


mom guilt

I mess up, yell, respond in anger, discipline in anger, mutter “brat, bad boy” through gritted teeth, under my breath.

I use my insecurities as reasons to not try a new sports league or to turn down a playdate with a new friend.

I parent from a place of perfection and my children feel it as my expectations for them as well.

Chaos drives me so batty that I flee from fun experiences for my kids because I don’t want to deal with a headache afterwards.

Thirty minutes before bedtime, I turn into a “mom pumpkin” unable to utter complete sentences or even give a double armed squeezing hug goodnight.

I fail in every way, every day.

If not for God’s grace, I would be buried deep in mom guilt and shame from all my confessional splatter.  But, God’s grace abounds in my most embarrassing, shame-filled mommy moments…
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“Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” Romans 5:20 NASB


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And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed. 2 Corinthians 9:8 NASB


It’s the kind of grace through which God says,

No matter what you’ve done.  No matter the yelling, indifference, ugly talk, personal brokenness, exhaustion. No matter. I WILL FILL IN the empty spaces of where you lack, of where you are not.

Although My grace doesn’t ensure perfection or a life without struggle or loss or pain,  you can parent confidently.

Through your brokenness and insecurities and yelling moments and “crash and burn” episodes, I will work it out for good in the life of your child (Romans 8:28).

Your child’s future is not your sole responsibility. I have a purpose and a plan for the individual that you gave birth to, nursed, held, cared for when sick, spent bazillion of dollars on, worried about, carted all over town, cheered for…I have My purposes for your child (Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 2:13).  And, My purposes stand firm forever (Psalm 33:31).

Sweet friend, keep close to the One who knows. Seek His direction in the life of your child.  Pray for your child. Value in parenting what God values in His Truth.  Make those hard decisions for the best of your child.  Be ALL there.

But, in those quiet spaces when you worry if you are doing all you need to or stress that your bad self is messing them up, confess and realign yourself to the One who loves us all.

empty spaces, mom guilt
Photo Credit: visualpanic via Compfight cc , Design: Amy Ruth

Rest, my sweet sister-mamma.

You can do this because of Him.

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Jesus said, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor 12:9 NIV


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See you on TUESDAY as we dive back into

Ugly Attitudes Bible Study

and unstick the ugly attitude of DISCOURAGEMENT.

2 thoughts on “Day 5: How to Offload the MoM GUiLT

  1. Great series! My three month old baby boy seems so far from being a grown up, I had never thought of already establishing goals, but you are absolutely right! Foundation starts now! And thank the Lord for his grace, otherwise none of us would be able to do this!

    1. I know…I phase in and out of intentional parenting. I always feel more sane though when my purpose is before me!

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