Marriage, Relationships

How to Speak LOVE into your Marriage (day 1)

cute couple
He makes me better. I like who I am with him. Our differences have made me stronger.

This is going to be fun. Really fun.  I love a good experiement.

I’m so glad that you are joining me this week to try a few ideas to speak love into your marriage.

Whether you are the gorgeous wife or dashing husband.

Whether your marriage is solid and loving or struggling and hopeless.

May we link arms together,

push passed the comfortable,

and pursue a better relationship with our spouse.

In no way do I claim to have a guarantee here.  No, it’s more like you and I will be running a Biblical experiment:

taking 5 things to say,

connecting it to a character quality,

and embossing it with a Biblical truth.

Each of these ideas have sprung from my life and experience, trial and error. I share them with you in hopes that they may spark a change in your heart and ignite a flame in your marriage.

To speak love into your marriage, we begin with what

YOU say to YOURself.

sarting place

Reset your internal dialogue to this truth:

marriage talk

Marriage illuminates, even spotlights, our differences. Your “normal” is perhaps your spouse’s “weird.”

How you load the dishwasher,

squeeze the toothpaste tube,

talk through conflict,

handle money.

Very quickly, our differences can open the door for judgements.  Once judgements are made, our perspective is set.  We then speak from that point of view.

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Every time you see a difference in your spouse


and you just want to snap to make a snarky comment,


Breathe and utter this statement to yourself:

Different, not deficient.


He didn’t pick up his shoes, again. 

Different, not deficient.

She never loads the dishwasher right.

Different, not deficient.

He always speaks with such an intense tone.

Different, not deficient.

How would these 3 words change what comes out of your mouth?

Your spouse’s differences do NOT make them LESS THAN… just different. You don’t own the market on what is right or better. This, my friends, is:

marriage wisdom

I AM NOT saying we shouldn’t graciously listen to our spouse and accept that some differences do need to be changed.

I AM NOT saying we shouldn’t have honest conversations to grow and change, adapting to life together.

God often uses our spouse and their differences to shape and mold us.

I AM saying to watch out for judgements through the conversations inside our head that can easily turn into critical and cutting comments.

Nagging when they forget again.

Snarky when they do things differently.

Condescending when they don’t quite see it your way.

Allow grace and love be the place from which you speak, whether they deserve it or not!

I want to be a WIFE who’s mouth is guided by this wisdom!

 Proverbs 16:23
Try it out today: Different, not deficient.  I’d love to hear how your lil experiment goes…
See you tomorrow for Day 2
with something you can actually say to your spouse: “Is there anything I can do for you today?
marriage sizzle