Marriage, Relationships

Day 2: How to Speak LOVE into your Marriage

young couple on beach
1999: In Fort Lauderdale during our first year of marriage

During our first year of marriage, I have never been so confronted with my own SELFISHNESS.  I no longer could do what I wanted to when I wanted to do it.

And, I didn’t like it.

Even though, he is my prince charming.

Even though, I had longed for years to be a wife.

I didn’t know marriage would require such….sacrifice.

We are experimenting this week with the impact our words have in our marriage.

Marriage Help

Yesterday, we uncovered what to say to YOURSELF, setting your point of view through internal dialogue:

1. Different, not deficient.

I’m so curious…how did your experiment go yesterday?

Today, I offer a question to ask your spouse that is

connected to the character quality of selflessness

and embossed with the Biblical truth of Ephesians 2:4.

marriage advice
from Dr. Allan and Pat Gates, Dynamic Marriage

Why is that so hard to say?

It’s offering the willingness to serve your spouse.

It’s extending love when it may not be deserving.

It’s putting yourself out there.

It may be getting into something you really don’t want to do.

You may hesitate through gritted teeth:

What if he asks me to iron his clothes

or call the insurance company

or fix a steak dinner

or rub his feet?!?”

With my pom-pom in hand, I cheer you on: Do it anyway, serving selflessly in love.

I am reminded of this Biblical truth: Ephesians 2:4

So, here we go…

[nbox type=error]


In the morning, when you are just waking up, brushing your teeth, eating breakfast, or trying to find something to wear…

look your spouse in the eyes and ask:

Is there anything I can do for you today?

Smile while you wait for their response.

Make a commitment to respond with love to WHATEVER they say.


I know, it may be hard.

You may be in the middle of a fight.

It might have been years since one of you offered any morsel of selflessness.

But, be willing to do what they say.

And, if you can’t believe they asked you to do THAT, respond as if you work at our favorite chicken place, Chick-fil-a,

chickfila, marriage advice

If a restaurant can respond in selfless service, surely we can, too.

Try it today. See what happens.

I’d love to know.

See you tomorrow for Day 3: “I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?”


4 thoughts on “Day 2: How to Speak LOVE into your Marriage

  1. Woke up really excited this morning to see what you had in store for us this morning. Thank you for being such a blessing to others such as myself. See you tomorrow. 🙂

    1. Yay! So cool that our SS Proverbs study ties with beautiful application into the focus this week!

Comments are closed.