Marriage, Relationships

Day 4: How to Speak LOVE into your Marriage

marriage advice“Peez.” “Tank tu.” as our two-year old says it.

Three words… we drone into our children from the very early years.

Three words… that become a held expectation with strangers.

Three words… that are often lost in our marriages.

When was the last time you were polite, actually polite, to your spouse… saying “please” or “thank you?”

It might be very natural to you, doling out gratitude and politeness throughout the day.

Or, maybe, it is not.

Maybe, you’ve reached a number of years and a level of complacency where politeness has been lost with your spouse.

We are BRINGING – IT – BACK today!

In our week-long experiment of “How to Speak Love into your Marriage,” we have covered so far:

1. Different, not deficient.

2. Is there anything I can do for you today?

3.  I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me?

Today, our experiment involves finding opportunities to say to your spouse:

marriage help

…or something like that. It’s the character trait of gratefulness embossed with the Biblical truth of Colossians 3:15.

About 7 years ago, I started looking for:


A “Thank You Moment” is a captured moment of expressing gratitude to someone else.

I made an intentional point to say to my husband as he was walking out the door to go to work,

Thank you for working so hard for us.”

I said it in front of the boys and often prompted the boys to say it with me.

Thank you, Dad, for going to work to take such good care of us.”

Even after he left, I would continue to take a few moments with the boys to CHAMPION their dad:

  • he works so hard for us
  • he takes great care of us
  • he’s such a great dad
  • he does it because he loves us so much
  • I am so thankful!

I was amazed at how it fostered such a sweet, early morning attitude of gratitude and respect.

Even now, years later, I see the fruit of those “Thank You Moments.” It has rooted a seed of gratitude within my boys’ hearts.  Spontaneously, the big boys will capture their own “Thank You Moment” with me or their dad by saying “thank you” for

doing their laundry

or cooking their dinner

or being such a great mom

or taking care of them.

Oh, how sweet, sweet…


is a beautiful and prolific thing.

What do you have to be thankful for in your spouse?

It may be hard for you.  You may have nothing but a list of complaints to say about your spouse and can’t see past all that they are not!

This brings us to our lil’ experiment:

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Make a list of 5 things you can thank your spouse for.

Write them down, if you need to.

Then, throughout today capture your own “Thank You Moment.”

Honey, thank you for…

I’m so grateful that you…

I appreciate that you…

Seize moments today through text, email, phone call, or face-to-face

to express gratitude to your spouse.

Watch what happens. 

How does it affect you? How does it impact them?


Honestly, I can see some of your contorted faces searching for something to be thankful for.  This may be a treasure hunt for you, looking for just one thing to be thankful for in your spouse.  Find it. Say it. See what happens, not only to them, but to your own heart.

Others may have it bubbling up like a natural spring within.

Either way, God tells us to:

colossians 3:15

Let’s be obedient within our marriages.

With obedience, God can do amazing things!

I can’t believe tomorrow is Day 5: “I love you because…”  See you then…and happy experimenting!

5 ways in 5