Marriage, Relationships

How to Live Small and Love Free in Your Marriage (day 13)

live small, marriage

Nothing has exposed more bigness IN me than marriage. Nothing has revealed more selfishness in my heart as living with my husband. Nothing has divulged how truly UNsmall I am as where those 2 little words, “I do,” led me over 15 years ago.

Living small in my marriage is housed in the nooks and crannies of my heart where an ever-slight shift of selfish, mutual expectation has the potential to happen:

If I rub your shoulders, then you should rub mine.

If I compliment how great you look, then you need to compliment me.

If I notice how hard you work for our family, then I expect you to acknowledge my hard work.

Instead of an authentic compliment delivered, I play the “give-one-to-get-one” head game. I put the bait out there hoping that he will bite so that I can receive the affirmation I long for.

I am fishing to feed my very UNsmall self.

fishing for compliments
Photo Credit: Propagandalf via Compfight cc

To live small is to love your spouse freely, without any expectation of return, unconditionally, without any strings attached. To do something, give something, say something just for the shear offering of love and service and gifting.

Challenge: Discover one way to live small and give love to your spouse. One way to love him just to love him without any strings attached, without expecting anything in return.  Just to give and love free.

Rub his feet without the expectation that he will rub yours next.

Get up early and fix a bacon and eggs breakfast without the hopes that he will sings your praises all day long.

Let him know how much you appreciate the way he provides for your family without the anticipation that he in turn will proclaim how brilliantly you do all you do for the family.

Take 30 minutes after the kids are down to spend undistracted (unplugged) time with him without the secret motivation that after you listen to him he should listen and devote 30 minutes to you.

Whatever speaks love to your spouse, GO THERE. Speak love to him and give freely without any expectation or hope or need for return or reciprocation or appreciation.

You just might find yourself at the doorway to something great in your marriage.

31 days, the nester, live smallClick here to see other posts in this series.