Marriage, Relationships

Day 27: 3 Ways To Brighten Up Your Marriage

My mom and dad one month before he went to heaven.
My mom and dad this spring

How is the world does being radiant look like in the closest relationship we have, within the intimacy of a marriage relationship? With the one who sees you at your most vulnerable, weakest state? With the one who drives you to your craziest point?

I get it…marriage can be a difficult place to shine your light especially:

on those jump-down-your-throat-days,

on those I’m-go-grumpy-don’t-talk-to-me-days,

on those you-really-hurt-me-and-you-don’t-even-know-it days.

But, is the marriage relationship excluded from the light of Jesus to shine through? Absolutely not.

Is this the one place where it’s too dark for Jesus’ light? No way.

Can He not shine a glimmer of hope in there? Yes. He. Can.

So, then…really…how does Jesus’ light shine into marriage?

1. You have to be in position.

The only way that light, change, joy, beauty can shine in your marriage is with the powerful light of Jesus. And, the only way that can happen is if you are in position to reflect Him.

Embrace these things:

  • Your ability to shine does not depend on the behavior of your spouse. You reflect Jesus even when he/she isn’t reflecting it back or even noticing.
  • God’s shine in you is not obnoxious or nagging.
  • God’s shine in you removes selfish motivation and points all glory to God.
  • God’s shine in you is quick to reconcile, does not lash out, and uses kind words.
  • God’s shine in you comes from a place of security, not of insecurity. So walk in that.

2. Ask God for help in those hyper-emotional moments.

You can’t do this in your own strength, by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, giving yourself a pep-talk through gritted teeth. You need the One who is stronger than you and bigger than your emotions and more powerful than your irritation.

3. Extend a love-gift.

Do something for your spouse that is beyond your “normal.” A sweet note, a small gift, a well-planned date, a task that usually isn’t your responsibility…something that they would appreciate. Not something you would. Don’t wait for affirmation. Just give with no expectation of how they should respond in return. Give and let go. Shine your light.

As you do these things because of His light, God will change you from the inside out.

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amy ruth, writer